8 Things to QUIT Today

OVERTHINKING

We all are guilty on this one, isn’t it? Presentation/ interview tomorrow, what if this happens what if that happens, someone got late at night, damn what must have happened, what if, someone is not picking up my call, why, are they angry with me did I do something wrong, didn’t get reply on a message, Oh no shit must have happened, is he/she ignoring me and blah blah blah!. Sometimes, just sometimes those thoughts may be true, but definitely not most of the times.  It’s just the brain overworking. Most of the times, the story that we cook up in our brains is just a figment of imagination.   We construct situations that may or may not happen and fret over it, get stressed over it, things that have not yet become a reality, are still in our thoughts. Our figment of imagination becomes a thing to worry. There are so many things to think about, current work in office, to maintain physical and mental health, to learn more skills or hone the existing ones, to finish that book that we want to write, to learn the guitar, to start waking up early in the morning, to start reading, to learn survival skills like cooking swimming etc, and here we sit and think about all the nonsense stuff that many a times does not even exist or doesn’t even happen. Why to burden the brain with such useless activity; why not use it for something more fun and pleasurable. 

FEAR OF CHANGE

We all love our cozy warm spots, isn’t it? Of course who won’t? Imagine sitting in your blanket on a cold night and then you have to get up to take a glass of water, not good right? Now imagine sitting in the warm blanket and one has to go to pee, now? One has to move. This is just a random example of cozy sitting places. Have you ever noticed a stagnant lake, a pond where water doesn’t move? It smells horrible; it has algae on it because it has not moved.  A moving water stream meets the mountains, the forests, rivers and oceans and what not. We all create our own cozy corners in our offices, in our learnings, in our careers and live under a constant fear to lose it. Yes, making a place in our current organization takes a lot of effort but maybe if we have become cozy then our growth has stopped, we have nothing new to learn, we are stagnating then. There may be a plan that we must have thought of and were constantly working on it and bamm, one day it doesn’t work. We panic, we breakdown, why? We fear change in plan, we fear the unknown. Exactly, we fear the UNKOWN! How did we conclude that the change will be bad and not good, it will bring disaster and not growth? How? If something in unknown it’s unknown for the bad also. Many a times, the change is what is required to shake us up, to bring us on toes, to remove those algae from our minds and bodies. Embrace the change, be prepared and welcome it.

LIVING IN THE PAST

Good Memories, Bad memories, memories of all kinds! As life goes on everything of the past becomes a memory. Some are lessons, some are motivational, some sad, some sweet. It’s all fine to remember them and laugh or cry over it, or refresh the lessons that the past experiences taught us. But, when does it become a problem? When we start to live in that past, neglecting the present. Our thought process starts from a certain past memory and ends with that past memory, just that past memory and event of the past. It sometimes takes over our thought process to such an extent that it starts to affect our health, our works and our relations too. Will it serve any purpose in my today? Something that has already passed, can I re-live that moment? Can I mend the mistakes that I made then? We are stuck in the thoughts of ‘I wish I had’, ‘I could have, ‘I think this would have been better’. Ok, fine, the thoughts are all fine! But, now it’s gone, that moment is gone; we cannot change that particular thing. Yes, we can learn from it and do things better this time but that’s about it. Instead of brooding over the past and destroying the present, we could take it in stride and be better today. A memory can make us cry (of sadness and happiness) and a memory can motivate and demotivate us equally. What should we chose, for ourselves?

TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYONE

People pleasing! How many times did we do things to make everyone happy? In a crowd of 100 people, is it logically possible to make everyone happy? Every individual has different likes and dislikes, and satisfying every single person 100% is almost impossible. When any activity is data driven, there are facts and numbers involved and we have to derive a conclusion based on those numbers therefore reaching a common conclusion is easy. But when emotions, logic, beliefs, individual understanding and such qualitative factors are involved then a conclusion satisfying every single person 100% becomes difficult. Let’s take a very simple example, there are 2 shirts, one white one black in color, or anything else but both are different. Now if a group of people have to analyze how many shirts are there, the answer is 2 because it is number based, or what are the colors or design of the 2 shirts then also we get a similar answer from everyone in the group. But the moment, question shifts to which one do you like, I really doubt if every single person in the group will choose the same shirt. Why? Because everyone will have a different understanding, perspective or thought related to those shirts. The example is very basic but m sure it conveys the idea. Harmony, peace, self-love and self-respect are important and rather than struggling and being stressed about why everyone is not happy and going crazy making everyone happy, its much much better to focus on important and logical things.

AFRAID OF BEING DIFFERENT

Being a pack! We are a pack! We must have heard or used this phrase many a times. Sounds good, shows we are a team, we all are working or aiming for the same thing. Great! Works just fine then. But imagine the same scenario while going for an interview; it’s a crowd of 40-50 or even 10 people. Everyone is wearing the same clothes, same qualifications, same skills, who will get it? Someone who has something extra, rather something different to offer than the others. In a meeting or group discussion, what catches the eye, an opinion that is unique or different from the common points, isn’t it? So, shall we be a part of the crowd or a lone wolf? Well, it will depend but being unique will always have its merits. When it’s about survival of a race or community or when it’s about bringing a big change, or bringing in a revolution, yes the numbers matter and there is a power in unity. But a group of thousands and millions will also have their own unique ideas which will help to tackle every possible hindrance in the path to betterment. The question has to be, what do I have to offer, how is my contribution unique? We are individuals and are bound to differ; we are not robots being run by the same coding or software. Why being different is so scary? Not being accepted, not being loved, not being acknowledged? Well, a lot of things were not normal unless people opened about it and more and more people talked about it, made it a public discourse and a time came when it became a normal thing. Or even if it doesn’t fit in to the ‘normal’ paradigm, how does it matter if it stops us from being us. People who love and support us will do it anyway and most of all one will be happy not to fake to be a part of the crowd. Who knows, my uniqueness might become the new ‘flex’ aka trend.

FEELING PURPOSELESS

What is meaningless? Air, water, insects, birds, trees, human, elephants, stars, moon, like what? Every single thing that exists has a meaning, has a reason. And then we, as humans, so called the most intelligent species on this planet can be meaningless? No, every single person has a meaning and a purpose in life. First and foremost, the point to remember is that we are important for someone for sure. There is at least, a minimum of one living thing for which we mean the world, if we were not there, their life would also get affected. Just seeing you smile their day brightens up. We just have to look around us; it is not that difficult to see it. Now coming to purpose, first of all holding a meaning in life automatically leads to purpose. Secondly, we all have some talent and skill that are unique to us. We always have a passion to follow, a dream to capture, a motive to fulfill, a talent to grow. And in today’s world, just see the plethora of opportunities. Although I do not calculate everything on money but who had thought that making a video and posting it on Youtube will earn people money, people walking random streets, eating food or cooking it just going about their daily lives (vlogs) and they earn so much from it. Emotionally, financially we all have a special place and purpose.

THINKING OF BEING NOT GOOD ENOUGH

We all know that every person has something unique in them, right? Then how do we become useless. Sometimes circumstances may not be favoring but every single one of us has something to contribute in every situation. I remember a situation, where a group of our office colleagues had to fly somewhere and the weather was not good that day. We had to reach the meeting at 11 am and we all had to board an hour long flight at 5 in the morning, the fog in the destination city was so dense that we all could not fly till 12 pm that day. It was an extremely stressful situation and every one of us reacted differently. Someone was angry and screaming, someone was frustrated, irritated, one of us was sulking, one of us was cool and one of us was chilling around the airport. The angry and screaming person created a feeling of urgency, the irritated person had so many things to say, like, we should have done that, we should have done this. The sulking person created a sympathetic environment where our boss was really  angry but seeing that sad person used to get understanding regarding the situation, the cool person was listening to everyone and was collecting ideas from everyone and was talking all rational stuff and the person chilling around in the airport was bringing in the updates from all flights, was in touch with the people there in the meeting. In conclusion, every single person contributed in a constructive way, every single person. 

Now another situation is, if we will give a computer to repair to a musician obviously that person would not be able to do anything to the computer, similarly if we give a geek a flute or drum to play, again it may not happen. But how does it make both of them incapable people? Both of them have their set of skills and their individual talents and how can we judge two different individuals, with different skill set on the same parameters? All of us, mind you, all of us have something special in us.

SACRIFICING SELF HAPPINESS FOR OTHERS

I know a lot of you will say that, ‘but sometimes we need to’. But really? What is that ‘sometimes’? Would you want someone you love to sacrifice for you? I guess no, right? We always have so many factors running in our minds when we are making any decisions, while some are related to us, many many are about what others will think, what others will say, will they like it, will they accept it and so on. And then begins the pursuit of their happiness, not ours. It’s perfectly fine to get selfish and think about our own happiness, what will make us smile. Although this sacrificing business is a bit subjective, but the only clause that should be  a parameter is that will this sacrifice and to my happiness and not to my regret. Generally, all these sacrifices turn to regrets later on.

These are just a few of the many things that affect our daily lives and may seem to be minor but play a major role in our everyday happiness and peace. And the pint of this conversation (not article) with you is to not defend or offend but to initiate a thought process, to ponder over it that do these things really matter in my life and knowingly or unknowingly I might have been giving too much focus on unnecessary things and complicating my life when it could be so damn simple.